Sucky Lyrics: Jive Jones' "Me, Myself And I"

Today we have a song so heinous, so out of control awful, that I feel a need to post all of the verses (the chorus is more or less just the phrase "Me Myself and I" repeated over and over).  And yes, the song title is a direct ripoff of the wonderful De La Soul song of the same name.   Also, his name is "Jive Jones."  No more need be said about him.



I woke up late
Fell out of bed
Missed the bus to
High school hell
Mom's painting my nails
Reading a magazine
You seem asleep
Me steal the keys
Now I'm the star
Of my neighborhell

Dad, there's no need to yell
'Cause I changed my name
You know that I
Love to do it all the time
I wanta get high
And that's fine

Today I got hate
Made the grade
I guess I'll graduate, oh well
Smoking can kill
Oh how I love these days
You know that I
Love to do it all the time
I wanta get high
And that's fine

I mean, where do I begin with this?  Neighborhell?  You've gotta be freakin kidding me.  That doesn't even make any sense.  Is it supposed to be clever?  Is it just a failed portmanteau?  Is it supposed to showcase Mr. Jones' profound revelation that yes, if you replace one syllable of a word with another syllable, it takes the same amount of time to say the "new" word as it would the original?  Is it supposed to make him look like a dumbass?  I think it's clearly all of these things, but scholars will I'm sure be arguing about the true meaning of the word for decades to come.

Why is Mom painting your nails, "MR." Jones?  Why are you still taking a freakin bus if you're about to graduate from "high school hell," especially if, as you so eloquently put it, "me steal the keys," I assume to the car.  You change your name "all the time?"  What?  Is that some invented slang for getting high?  Also, you're soooo bad because you realize, very wisely I might add, that "smoking can kill," but "that's fine."  Also, wait, you "got hate, made the grade?"  That doesn't even rhyme, and again makes no sense.  Finally, you "love these days?!"  After complaining for the whole song about everything?  In the immortal words of my wonderful boss Karen, "I can't.  I just can't."